Children and Parents

Father: Stork has brought you a baby brother. Wanna see your baby brother?

Son: No, I wanna see the stork.

 

*  *  *

 

"What do you think of your new little brother, dear?"

"I wish we'd thrown him away and kept the stork instead."

 

*  *  *

 

Little boy saying his prayers: "God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless my new baby brother... and get him out of here."

 

*  *  *

 

       "I hear your sister is sick in bed, Bobby," remarked a neighbor. "Nothing serious, I hope?"

       "Not 'specially," answered Bobby. "We were just playin' a game seein' who could lean the furthest out the window, and she won."

 

*  *  *

 

Father (reproving his son and heir for greediness): Jimmie, you're a pig. Do you know what a pig is?

Jimmie: Yes, Papa. Apig is a hog's little boy.

 

*  *  *

 

Mother (reprovingly): William, I wish you'd stop reaching for things at the table. Haven't you a tongue?

Son: Yes, Ma, but my arm's longer. 

 

*  *  *

 

Dad: You mustn't pull the cat's tail.

Sonny: I'm only holding  it. The cat is pulling.

 

*  *  *

 

"Thomas, what is the matter with your brother?" asked the mother of the boys.

"He's crying," replied Thomas, "because I'm eating my cake and won't give him any."

"Is his own cake finished?" asked the mother.

"Yes, and he was crying when I was eating that, too."

 

*  *  *

 

Mother: I sent my little boy for three pounds of plums and you sent only two.

Grocer: My scales are all right, madam. Have you weighed your boy?

 

*  *  *

 

Caller: I wonder if I can see your mother, little boy. Is she engaged?

Willie: Engaged! She's married!

 

*  *  *

 

"My father always carries a young horse pistol with him."

"A young horse pistol?"

"Yes - a Colt." 

 

*  *  *

 

"Well, Bobby, how do you like school?"

"When it's closed."

 

*  *  *

 

Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?

Johnny: Well, every time I come to the corner a sign says "School - Go Slow".

 

*  *  *

 

"What did you learn in school today Clarence?"

"How to whisper without moving my lips."

 

*  *  *

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