Love, courtship and marriage

"How much will a marriage licence cost me?" the yong man asked his married friend.

"Two dollars down"? muttered the friend darkly, "and your income for life."


* * *


My son has a head like a doorknob. Any girl can turn it.


* * *


The wife of Mr. "X" telling her grown up son: "Never trust a girl who says she loves you more than anybody else in the world. It proves that she has been experimenting"


* * *


         After rowing across the Pacific for a year, John Fairfax and Sylvia Cook announced that they did not plan to marry.

        "He would make an appalling husband," said Miss Cook. "Who wants a husband who goes off on jaunts like this?"


*  *  *


Carrie: What makes you so popular?

Mary: It's my line.

Carrie: What is your line?

Mary: The line of least resistance.


*  *  *


"Well Willie, what does your sister think of the engagement ring I gave her?"

"Aw, she says the other two cost more."


*  *  *


"Broken off your engagement to Mary?"

"She wouldn't have me."

"You told her about your rich uncle?"

"Yes. She's my aunt now."


*  *  *


A local Romeo's face appeared in the window of his beloved's bedroom.

"Get a move on," he hollered, "and let's get this eloping business over with."

"Be quiet," cautioned Juliet. "Papa'll hear us and spoil all our plans."

"I wouldn't worry about that," said Romeo. "He's down on the ground holding the ladder."


*  *  *


Miss Gotrocks: You! You want to marry me?

Young Man: Yes.

Miss Gotrocks: But, my dear boy, you've only known me three days.

Young man: Oh, much longer than that, really! I've been two years in the bank where your father has his account.


*  *  *


Father: My boy, I never kissed a girl until I met your mother. Will you be able to say the same thing to your son?

Son: Yes, but not with such a straight face.


*  *  *


Her: I suppose all geniuses are conceited.

Him: Some of them - but I'm not.


*  *  *


Pessimist: Marriage is a three-ring circus... Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.


*  *  *


"I have two children, a dod, cat and a seven-room house to take care of, not counting a husband."


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